I can relate although I’m younger. One day in class my friend left me alone to talk to someone else and I started crying. I had to wipe my face because people laughed. But I just felt that I didn’t matter. I also can’t handle when I’m home alone and I hear random noises. Same with the sleeping. I feel like things are in my room in the dark. So I see things, like a person.

same here

I understand completely, I can relate to a lot of these thoughts and feelings. I am 24 years old and for a very long time now I knew something was wrong with me. I knew I was different from others. I think differently and I feel things on a level I don ™t think anyone can understand. My mind is constantly going, especially when I ™m left alone. I become very panicked and nervous, I start listening hard to every little sound and loud noises make me jump. I hate the quietness, I cannot stand being alone and in the quiet. I will go into a full on panic attack and often I will beg my boyfriend to come with me to the bathroom or shower, if he doesn ™t I ™ll leave the door open or cracked unless I have music, but sometimes it doesn ™t help. My boyfriend can ™t even walk outside without me asking and wondering if he is going to leave. Is he gonna sneak off and not tell me? I start to panic and my heart races, my palms get sweaty, I start doubting myself asking myself things like are you being boring? Did you forget to do something for him? Am I being too clingy? If I am hanging around even just friends and one friend gets up to go to the bathroom I immediately ask where they are going. I guess you can say paranoid. I wake up in the morning and the first thing that runs through my mind is I wonder when he ™s planning on leaving me. And then I start going out of my way to try and make sure he is comfortable and stays around as long as possible. I can ™t sleep alone. If he falls asleep first I have the hardest time going to sleep too. If he leaves while I ™m asleep I wake up scared and start yelling for him looking everywhere until the tears come falling down and I ™ll call and call until he answers to tell me where he ™s at. This is not even half of what I experience. If I am alone, it ™s rare, I ™ll eat or shower, clean anything like that unless I ™m stoned or something. Things, thoughts and feelings have been fueled by addiction and I almost never feel good about myself, if I do it ™s based off how my boyfriend or someone else is treating me. For example if my boyfriend is having a bad day and needs space like a normal person would I start freaking out inside my head like is he gonna break up with me, what did I do wrong, am I not pretty enough, do I not interest him? I ™m gonna be alone forever I can ™t ever keep around anyone because often it ™s been said I ™m too much or just too much to handle. I ™m obsessive and jealous, insecure, jumpy and clingy and idk how to turn all this off. My mind never rests, I think way too much about everything, always analyzing and dissecting. I don ™t trust anyone. Really I ™m always looking for lies or deceit. I pay attention to tiny details most don ™t, like body language, peoples reactions and faces, tone of voice, what they act like around certain ppl or alone. I remember things that hurt me, some random girl could say something random about me like I ™m a heifer and that stays in my head for weeks. I ™ll always throw out there sometimes for no reason "I ™m such a heifer . I change 3-4 times a day always worried what others think. It ™s exhausting. I can ™t hang out with very many people because I make things weird. I talk too much, I ™m too open or I ™m too quiet, really awkward with a wall up. I ™ve tried to be myself but I haven ™t met one person who can truly deal and understand me the way I think and feel. I ™m sensitive and after so long of being hurt or made fun of for the way I am I ™ve begun to put a wall up and wear a mask for different people. I become the person they are expecting or what I assume they find appropriate. I ™ve lost myself who I really am trying to fit in so I ™m not so lonely but really I ™m always lonely. I can ™t speak my mind ever because people think I ™m crazy or tripping or just trying to get attention or cause drama. But really I just need help sorting through my thoughts and feelings. I have gotten so bad I can barely differentiate from reality and what tricks my mind has kicking up. I can ™t ever tell when someone is being real or sarcastic. Anything anyone says I assume is a lie or the complete opposite. I believe whole heartedly both are huge issues because I tend to believe the lies and not believe the truth. In my mind everyone is playing games in it for their own gain. I feel like I have nobody who is on my side. I have no friends, I ™ve mostly lost my family and it ™s destroying my relationship. I need help. This is only half of what I can explain.

Symptoms are exactly what I feel, mostly when sleeping alone. I just have this intense feeling so I can’t even sleep facing away from the door because I am too scared that someone or thing will get me in the night, even when I am just home alone I fear being like sniped from a distance or the house being broken into.

I feel the exact same way.

I like that dress

I am the exact same. I don ™t tell anyone cuz I think they ™ll think it ™s silly, but I can ™t stand to be alone. I don ™t even like being on the same floor as others just in a different room. I also hate the dark. I don ™t know if fear of the dark and fear of being alone go together for anyone else, but that ™s how it is with me